Idk what the fuck is wrong with my mind, like seriously. Finals is just 4 days away. Yes, four fucking days. And I'm here so damn demotivated. Scrolling social apps, watching tv(seriously?), procrastinating.
Maybe it was a bad decision to spend my entire study break at home. It's just too comfy here that I don't even wanna study.
I really don't know wtf is wrong with me. Can somebody slap me already. Or it's already too late idk. Four fucking papers. How am I gonna pass them all?
Every night before I sleep, I would get really terrified. I'm scared that I won't be able to clear my papers and hence have to defer my degree shit and join the JUNIORS next sem all by myself - cuz everyone in my class is just damn smart and yeah they're all gonna pass with flying colors. The anxiety overwhelms me every night. BUT as soon as I wake up the next day, I'll forget every piece of shit that I worried about last night. Ugh fml fml fml.
I'm so sick of all these. Le sigh. Regret like siao before finals, do badly in exams, get shitty results and swear to god that I'd work fucking hard next sem and not do last minute work, and be lazy as fuck when the new sem starts. And it goes on and on. 惡性循環 💩♻️ 😔
I need something to change me, to motivate me. Or maybe someone who shares the same goal.
看著上個sem大考前寫的悔改篇，我真的很想給自己重重的一巴。再看去年拿成績的感恩加承諾篇，我真的覺得自己很沒用，沒有一件事是做到的。
我真的不知道為什麼自己會變成這樣。以前都是我在勸人教人讀書，現在怎麼會搞成這樣。
在找回以前的自己的道路上，把更好的自己帶回來。感謝大我兩天的處女座輔導老師。感謝罵我的朋友們。感謝那些說“借你我的幸运女神，我明天走路跌longkang都没有关系！”的朋友們。感謝最愛我的家人。
這次真的是看老天爺要不要給我pass了。🙏
Originally posted on Dayre but subsequently removed cuz I feel that Dayre provides no privacy at all @@ hahah not everyone wanna listen to my meaningless regret speech right.
