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Today, pause and think for a while before passing judgement on someone. You know their name, not their story.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

回憶還是最美

1211AM
還有九天就大考了 
上課時一問三不知
看著老師嘴巴不停的動 
腦海里的問號也就不停的浮現
做一題past year翻這裡翻那裡到最後花了一個小時多來做一題 


壓力真的很大
壓得我喘不過氣來 


窒息


以前SPM的時候一次過拿11科
還是可以兼顧得那麼好
從前的動力去了哪裡 
每天做add math的精神被落在何處


整兩年沒有動數學了 
那個腦是笨到不行


我覺得上天真的很眷顧我 
老實說PMR過後我就沒有真的很努力很用工過 
但是成績出來還不是那麼的差強人意


於是 我便利用上天對我的厚愛
開始懶惰 每天得過且過
就這樣 我完成了CAT 


天真的我以為
最後一分鐘的讀書方式讓我安全渡過了CAT
ACCA也當然可以


直到我拿到了預考的成績後
我才發現 這次連天都救不了我了 
一個sem區區的三科 全軍覆沒
而且發現大事不妙後我並沒有開始每天讀書 
還是繼續instagram fb twitter的日子
現在只剩十天了 
那種非常強烈的動力才開始在血液中狂奔 
但是萬事已晚 
現在我只能希望大考不要三科fail完就好了
真的很對不起我爸媽


想當年
最差的科目就是bio
form4 第一次考試fail
也是人生中的第一個fail
柔姐每次都耐心教導
最後也拿了個A 
還算不算


考試真的會讓人崩潰
尤其是當從前的回憶突然被攤開的時候


很多情緒被混在一塊兒 
真的需要釋放出來 
不然隨時會瘋掉 



回憶越美就越是傷人 


昨晚夜深人靜的時候 
一個不小心按到了replay鈕
回憶開始不停的重播 
看著那些片段 
眼淚不禁流了下來 


才發現我壓力真的很大


我真的很懷念以前和一大群朋友一起讀書的日子 
大家都會準備好自己最強的那科 
然後去給其他人補習 
個個都隨傳隨到
誰都不曾放棄過誰 
讀到餓了就去煮飯吃
很想念柔姐的tomyam
背moral的nilai從桌上背到地上去
讀bio讀到兩三點
隔天再一起帶著黑眼圈上考場
這些似乎都成了慣例 


每次考試都有你們的陪伴 
你們的扶持


現在認識的朋友不管有多好
還是比不上你們這一群


我說 等考完試後 大家一定要去我們以前在一起讀書的地方 
拍照拍照再拍照
因為我知道
就算過了十年 二十年 甚至三十年
還是沒有人可以取代臨時抱佛腳study group的地位



我 真的很想你們。













偽裝出來的微笑能掩飾哭紅的雙眼嗎 






Friday, May 3, 2013

Strive!

Wow I actually have not blogged for like two months?! I'm surprised! HAHAHA


Back in Jaybee again. Finally had time to on my lappie and blog hahaha. Basically I left it there to die for almost three weeks already because there was a hiatus on Vampire Diaries and I was having mock exam therefore I had no reason to on my lappie LOL.


Okay I screwed up my mock, again. It was no surprise. Everything was just the same as last year - the daily routine, the thoughts and the promise I made to myself. Staying up every single night in the week of mock, panicked before entering the exam hall for each paper, regretting for not starting the preparation earlier and saying "I must study everyday after mock exam for finals." and "I shall revise everyday next semester." to myself.


But why can't I keep the promise? WHYYY. After mock there was a one-week-break. So-called break because the revision classes happened to begin on the sixth of May, which is next Monday. 


Yeah, we shall, we should, we must rest for a few days after exam. I went out like almost every single day when I was in Kluang -.-"   (pictures at the end of post XD ) I've rested enough already but I don't have the MOOOOD to studyyy. ASDFGHJKL!!



General Election is on this coming Sunday and for sure there will be serious heavy traffic everywhere and I have morning class on Monday hence I've got no choice but to come back to Jaybee yesterday due to many reasons.


Okay I'm actually not some political enthusiast because things are just very virtual to me. Yes I definitely want to UBAH because BN has been taking control over the country since the independence of Malaysia and we have seen how 'well' they have ruled the country. Thefts, robberies, brutal murders, kidnapping, all kinds of crimes can be seen on the headlines everyday. There is no guarantee that if PR takes over the control all the existing problems will be gone but at least there is a CHANCE that our country will have a better future. It's actually a gamble. And if PR wins the election, out of the three rulers, who shall be the PM and will the other two be satisfied just like that? And the three parties have their own views in particular issues, they can never see eye to eye. Plus PR anyhow gives unachievable manifesto for example take over the highways with the intention of gradually abolishing tolls. I mean like, just use your brains. How can they abolish tolls? It's a huge source of income of the country. Even if they DO abolish tolls, for sure they will impose something like an annual public transportation fee or something that is like road tax. I will laugh my ass out if PR wins this GE but BN makes a comeback the next GE because PR simply just can't fulfil their manifesto. Anyways I still HOPE that PR wins because we all deserve a better life than this. Let's hope that BN doesn't come up with some dirty bitchy little tricks and make this GE as BERSIH as possible. 


HAHAHA I didn't realise I typed so long on the GE issue LOLL. Okay voiced everything out already. Shall get back to books now -.- k byeee. 




Photos are directly from my phone. No time for edit and framing sorry.